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Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
On a more positive note, Birmingham.
Today (technically now yesterday, I need to learn not to blog in the early hours of the morning, not that anyone REALLY cares because nobody even reads this) I went to Birmingham. This is what happened, this was my day.
Woke up at 6AM. Fell asleep. Got woken up by Ed ringing me to wake me up. Got up and got ready. Was ready, but my mum wanted a bath and made me miss the train. Got the next train. No seats; had to stand up. Rang Georgie and Ed and talked about unicorns. Signal died, no call. Stole a reserved seat. Played Pokemon on my Gameboy Color. Arrived at Birmingham New Street. Old woman collapsed infront of me, didn't know what to do. Got directed by Ed on the phone on how to find them. Went the wrong way. Went the right way. Saw the "Egg with a face" fountain. Hid from Georgie. Georgie pretended not to see me and found me. Went with Georgie and found Pav and Ed waiting in a big X Factor queue. Waited for ages, had some lols. Asshole. Saw a Russell Brand lookalike with a girlymanthing, I kind of loved them both. Waited. Me and Pav went off to explore Birmingham. I give £1.10 to some charity man. Went and got Krispy Kremes. Bought one for Georgie and Ed. Waited in the queue for a chinese, got bored. Walked off. Went past Ann Summers and thought about buying The Borzoi a dildo. John the Goth. Went to McDonalds. Table covered in "jizz" and a vaseline lid. Doug. Winning a house with Mcdonalds would be the most embarassing thing, imagine trying to explain that. Left McDonalds. Went to a CD store. Found a Tiger Force album I've been looking for for ages. Bought it. Loved it. Wanted to buy Adam Ant's greatest hits. Went to HMV to look for it. HMV was five stories high. CD'S were at the top. Adam Ant Greatest Hits more expensive than previous CD store, even with discount from McDonalds. Pav wonders wethr to buy a 3D Dark Knight Poster. We leave HMV emptyhanded. Pav and I sit down. We go in search of the bulls in birmigham. Pav rigns his sister, who says there is only one when there is clearly several. Pav hangs up saying "I HAVE TO GO, THERES A PAEDOPHILE". Pav and I get bored and sit somewhere else. We watch some kids dressed up as pirates, robin hood and a peadogloveman. We talk about paedograbbing. Vaninjas. Different flavoured ninjas. Sit there for ages. Go to selfridges to look at the jellybean bull, and to look at sweets. I contemplate buying a Wonka Bar. Don't buy it. Georgie texts us asking us to come back. We go back, stopping at Urban Outfitters. Georgie tells us to hurry up. I tell her I'm in Urban Outfitters. She tells me I'm the worst, or something along those lines. Pav and I leave Urban Outfitters and go back to the place with the queue. Timbo's stag do. The jumping woman poster. Georgie reuinites with us, and she takes up some stairs where the friends and family of the X factor contestants are waiting. Sat down and gave Georgie her donut. Talked. Lol'd. Got nervous for Ed. Felt tired. Georgie gave me some Apple and Pep. The Pep tasted rank, of paint. Paedograbbed Pav. Saw Jermaine, the legend. Got hyper off the Pep. "hatti and pav, hatti and pav, playing with kids when georgie waits for ed. ALL THE TUBERS WAITING BY THE STAIRS FOR THE EDDPLANT." Got nervouser. Saw people coming down the stairs crying. They weren't accepting anymore contestants it appeared. Ed came down. I gave him his donut. We chatted for a bit. Lol'd some more. Hugged Ed. Left the X Factor place. Went to McDonalds. Didn't buy anything. Exchanged 10 euros for £8.50. Went to Greggs, bought a cheese sandwich and a capri sonne. Nearly paid £4.60 instead of £1.60. Me and the Greggs lady lol'd at my mistake. Left Greggs and we all sat outside nomming. Georgie got a dinosaur ring on her cupcake. Was still hungry. Went to get another cheese sandwich, paying with exact change. Georgie told me to get a cupcake, but I only wanted it for the ring. Georgie asked the man if I could have the ring free, he just gave it me, legend. I love the Greggs people. Pav bought an apple pie, which was free with one of those token things. We go back nearer to the Bullring. I've missed the train I was hoping to catch back. We sit outside on some steps. It rains. We say goodbye to the Oddplont. Group hug. Pav, Georgie and I walk to Birmingham New Street Station. Georgie and I hug Pav. Pav leaves. I need a wee, had to pay 40p to get into the toilet. Out of the toilet, Georgie has dissapeared with all my stuff. She comes out from her hiding place. We decide we should take photobooth pictures. Georgie doesn't have change. Go into various food shops seeing which one had the cheapest smoothie. Running out of time before my train so I decide to pay for the photo. We take the photo. We go to platform 9A. I hug Georgie. I get on my train. Wave and mime at Georgie through the door. Door closes. Wave through the glass. Train leaves. No seat again. Have to stand. I sit. I notice someone's shoes are chunky. I notice chunky shoe man has dreadlocks. I notice his girlfriend has dreadlocks too. I secretly wished dreadlocks would suit me. Floor isn't not comfortable. I try to dodge a sweet thats stuck to the carpet. I fall asleep. I wake up. It's my stop. I get off. Cold. Wait ten minutes for my Mum to pick me up. Go home.
I did all this as well as fitting in "the worst", paedograbs and fitting in "IMMAAA FIRRRINN MAAA LAAZOOORRR" into sentences where appropriate. I'm glad I wrote this down, because by tomorrow I wouldn't know what happened in so much detail.
Woke up at 6AM. Fell asleep. Got woken up by Ed ringing me to wake me up. Got up and got ready. Was ready, but my mum wanted a bath and made me miss the train. Got the next train. No seats; had to stand up. Rang Georgie and Ed and talked about unicorns. Signal died, no call. Stole a reserved seat. Played Pokemon on my Gameboy Color. Arrived at Birmingham New Street. Old woman collapsed infront of me, didn't know what to do. Got directed by Ed on the phone on how to find them. Went the wrong way. Went the right way. Saw the "Egg with a face" fountain. Hid from Georgie. Georgie pretended not to see me and found me. Went with Georgie and found Pav and Ed waiting in a big X Factor queue. Waited for ages, had some lols. Asshole. Saw a Russell Brand lookalike with a girlymanthing, I kind of loved them both. Waited. Me and Pav went off to explore Birmingham. I give £1.10 to some charity man. Went and got Krispy Kremes. Bought one for Georgie and Ed. Waited in the queue for a chinese, got bored. Walked off. Went past Ann Summers and thought about buying The Borzoi a dildo. John the Goth. Went to McDonalds. Table covered in "jizz" and a vaseline lid. Doug. Winning a house with Mcdonalds would be the most embarassing thing, imagine trying to explain that. Left McDonalds. Went to a CD store. Found a Tiger Force album I've been looking for for ages. Bought it. Loved it. Wanted to buy Adam Ant's greatest hits. Went to HMV to look for it. HMV was five stories high. CD'S were at the top. Adam Ant Greatest Hits more expensive than previous CD store, even with discount from McDonalds. Pav wonders wethr to buy a 3D Dark Knight Poster. We leave HMV emptyhanded. Pav and I sit down. We go in search of the bulls in birmigham. Pav rigns his sister, who says there is only one when there is clearly several. Pav hangs up saying "I HAVE TO GO, THERES A PAEDOPHILE". Pav and I get bored and sit somewhere else. We watch some kids dressed up as pirates, robin hood and a peadogloveman. We talk about paedograbbing. Vaninjas. Different flavoured ninjas. Sit there for ages. Go to selfridges to look at the jellybean bull, and to look at sweets. I contemplate buying a Wonka Bar. Don't buy it. Georgie texts us asking us to come back. We go back, stopping at Urban Outfitters. Georgie tells us to hurry up. I tell her I'm in Urban Outfitters. She tells me I'm the worst, or something along those lines. Pav and I leave Urban Outfitters and go back to the place with the queue. Timbo's stag do. The jumping woman poster. Georgie reuinites with us, and she takes up some stairs where the friends and family of the X factor contestants are waiting. Sat down and gave Georgie her donut. Talked. Lol'd. Got nervous for Ed. Felt tired. Georgie gave me some Apple and Pep. The Pep tasted rank, of paint. Paedograbbed Pav. Saw Jermaine, the legend. Got hyper off the Pep. "hatti and pav, hatti and pav, playing with kids when georgie waits for ed. ALL THE TUBERS WAITING BY THE STAIRS FOR THE EDDPLANT." Got nervouser. Saw people coming down the stairs crying. They weren't accepting anymore contestants it appeared. Ed came down. I gave him his donut. We chatted for a bit. Lol'd some more. Hugged Ed. Left the X Factor place. Went to McDonalds. Didn't buy anything. Exchanged 10 euros for £8.50. Went to Greggs, bought a cheese sandwich and a capri sonne. Nearly paid £4.60 instead of £1.60. Me and the Greggs lady lol'd at my mistake. Left Greggs and we all sat outside nomming. Georgie got a dinosaur ring on her cupcake. Was still hungry. Went to get another cheese sandwich, paying with exact change. Georgie told me to get a cupcake, but I only wanted it for the ring. Georgie asked the man if I could have the ring free, he just gave it me, legend. I love the Greggs people. Pav bought an apple pie, which was free with one of those token things. We go back nearer to the Bullring. I've missed the train I was hoping to catch back. We sit outside on some steps. It rains. We say goodbye to the Oddplont. Group hug. Pav, Georgie and I walk to Birmingham New Street Station. Georgie and I hug Pav. Pav leaves. I need a wee, had to pay 40p to get into the toilet. Out of the toilet, Georgie has dissapeared with all my stuff. She comes out from her hiding place. We decide we should take photobooth pictures. Georgie doesn't have change. Go into various food shops seeing which one had the cheapest smoothie. Running out of time before my train so I decide to pay for the photo. We take the photo. We go to platform 9A. I hug Georgie. I get on my train. Wave and mime at Georgie through the door. Door closes. Wave through the glass. Train leaves. No seat again. Have to stand. I sit. I notice someone's shoes are chunky. I notice chunky shoe man has dreadlocks. I notice his girlfriend has dreadlocks too. I secretly wished dreadlocks would suit me. Floor isn't not comfortable. I try to dodge a sweet thats stuck to the carpet. I fall asleep. I wake up. It's my stop. I get off. Cold. Wait ten minutes for my Mum to pick me up. Go home.
I did all this as well as fitting in "the worst", paedograbs and fitting in "IMMAAA FIRRRINN MAAA LAAZOOORRR" into sentences where appropriate. I'm glad I wrote this down, because by tomorrow I wouldn't know what happened in so much detail.
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